The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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