You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
