I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
