In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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