omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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