Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
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I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
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preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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