We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I need a burrito and a hug.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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