like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
