My hair reeks of homosexuality.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
