Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
