I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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