piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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