fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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