there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
