dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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