i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You pole danced in your parka.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
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