dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
