Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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