I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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