What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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