Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
