Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
