im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
