3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
