well you can't waste a boner
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
