Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
