I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
So many bounce houses so little time
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
