i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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