I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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