I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
