awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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