wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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