So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
