A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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