Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
is this the sara with the beer cane?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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