im drinking this country out of the recession.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
