I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize