Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
