just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
