Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
