Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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