Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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