yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
