How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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