I want to walk on stilts...naked
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
