dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
this is an emotional support booty call
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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