mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
