i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
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