She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
