If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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