even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
