Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
