Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
