guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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