he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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