after a month anything with tits is on the radar
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
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