there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
