We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize