Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
