Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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