dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
