Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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