Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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