i barfeds in our rink
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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